Ten National Delicacies

While on vacation this next year, if you visit any of these exotic locales, be sure to try the National Dish. Remember, you are what you eat.

10. Khachapuri, the traditional cheese pie of the former Soviet Republic of Georgia. In 1995, authorities closed down a bakery whose specialty was Khachapuri when it emerged that the pies were baked in the Tbilisi morgue.

9. Durian fruit, whose fragrance is identical to that of a rotting corpse. Enjoy this while you visit Southeast Asia.

8. While in the Netherlands, make sure you try the salted horsemeat sandwiches.

7. In 16th century England it was very common to find Lark's tongue on the menu.

6. Monkey's toes can be found on sidewalk cafes in Indonesia.

5. In Mongolia, sample the boodog, a goat that is cooked inside a bag made from the goatskin. It will either be barbecued over an open fire or cooked with a blowtorch.

4. Desiccated petrified deer penis can be found in outdoor markets in China.

3. Rat meat sausages are a delight in the Phillippines.

2. The Ecuadorean G-Force! Fried, roasted, or boiled guinea pig.

And 1. My personal favorite from the Central American country of Belize- cena molida. The primary ingredient is roasted, mashed cockroaches.

20 Things...

Recently via a MSNBC link, I read an article entitled "20 Secrets Your Waiter Will Never Tell You." You can find the full text of the article above.

I have to admit, this article is incredibly frustrating. I have been employed at a large chain family restaurant since 2000 (off/on). I'm probably not supposed to say where, but oh well, it's Cracker Barrel. I'm currently waitressing (serving) once again (and using my degrees as placemats). No honestly, the money is good and it is a lot of fun. Most of the things written in that article concern smaller, casual restaurants that (most likely) are family businesses. Since I work for one that does not franchise, almost everything we do is mandated by our company. So, I have recompiled the list responding to the 20 things written above.

1. Not true. We can tell people we don't like something. When someone asks me how the Broccoli and Cheese Soup is, I am honest. I don't like broccoli, therefore, I've never had the soup. Plus, we do have items that are our most popular dishes. They are in bold on the menu, so if you ask about them, I'm going to say they are popular.

2. We are closed on Christmas Day. I've never actually "lied" about anything but you can use things to "up" your tips. In the South, I can rely heavily on being a Christian and having a husband serve in the military.

3. Sometimes we really are in the stockroom. It's where we keep the sour cream for your baked potato, that you HAVE TO HAVE or else your head is going to explode. We aren't allowed to smoke on property.

4. We don't serve alcohol, but we do hate making hot chocolates. However, we'll still do it. I've never heard anyone say we are out of something when we, in actuality, have it. That's too risky.

5. No, this is really, REALLY, gross. I have never ever (and I've worked at three different Cracker Barrels) seen someone do this. Now, sometimes we are allowed to eat a piece of cake that was prepared by accident, or some pancakes that were made and sat in the window because the server didn't need them. We might share the food we are given or purchase, but never something that is intended for our guests. Plus, all of our desserts are individually portioned, so eating them really isn't possible. It can also cost us our jobs.

6. I've never done this, but hey, it sounds like a great idea. Technically, we aren't allowed to heat up food that has already "touched" the table.

7. No! I have never seen this. We don't even give people wrapped jellies, straws, butters, and etc. that touch the floor. Although it is funny, the movie Waiting really missed the ball in that part. However, when you are rude, meany, or down right obnoxious, we certainly talk about doing it.

8. and 9. All desserts at Cracker Barrel are homemade right in our store, along with a lot of other items you can eat there.

10. Yeah, you that do this suck. We aren't dogs. The same goes for the person who interrupts me while I'm taking an order at another table.

11. Amen. We make our money because we move people in and out of seats. There are plenty of better places to play Risk. And, the heater in your car is just as good as the fireplace.

12. Another Amen. Please don't order it if you don't plan on drinking it. The amount of food/drink people waste in a restaurant is unbelievable.

13. Excellent. You can expect a free slice of apple pie.

14. Maybe. We'll try and diffuse the situation, that is for sure. Unhappy people do not tip well.

15. At any given time we have 4-5 chefs working on duty. We don't take reservations, so don't worry about giving us a call. In my humble opinion, the worst guests are spouses of said chefs.

16. Mine was a woman who brought a ferret in to the restaurant in her purse and fed it pieces of toast. Also, I've been asked out on dates numerous times and been given telephone numbers as well.

17. As previously mentioned, we don't take reservations. I've never thought of giving the hostess money to seat me with good guests. I called the cops once for her when her car was sideswiped in the parking lot and she's been nice ever since.

18. Yes, Yes, a thousand times yes. If you request us, your service will be exceptional. I once had a set of four guests who came in and always tipped me the same amount they paid for their meal. They were "hand off" guests from a server who moved. When I moved from that store I handed them off...I hope they were treated nice.

19. This is true. But please mention any allergies or severe dislikes. Don't say "anything on this menu" is great and then mention when I bring out your food that you have an allergy to pepper.

20. I could write for hours and hours about the science of tipping. Since I don't have that amount of time, I'm going to go with this:

~ We garner 80% of our wages from the tips you leave us. The other 20% comes from training and our small $2-$3 hourly wage.

~ If you despised your service, tipping nothing does not help. We assume you put it on your credit card or you simply forgot. (At Cracker Barrel, you pay at the cash stand at the front, not at the table). Also, please mention it to us, we'll do everything we can to remedy the situation.

~ If you cannot afford to go out to eat, DO NOT eat out with the simple solution of under-tipping your server. In the past year, I have seen more of this than anything else. It's sad. The economy is bad for everyone, but nothing upsets a server more then to work really hard, have great guest rapport, and then get 10% for tip.

~ A good rule of thumb is this, if your service was good/decent, say 15%, the better they are feel free to increase at 1% intervals, and if it's exceptional, tack on an additional 20% or even more. I once had guests who said at the beginning "You are starting out at a 25% tip" It made me very aware of everything that I did for those guests...I ended up getting 30%. If you stay longer then your time, please tip accordingly, remember we make money by moving guests in and out of our tables.

Along with this are those of you who simply leave without paying your bill. Trust me, word gets around and we always remember you.

New Year's Resolutions

I have never been the kind of person to make New Year's Resolutions. Why make an agreement with yourself that you will only feel bad about when you break it in a month? Okay, well, that is me, speaking from personal experience. I have a tendency to make a long list of resolutions only to find out I have forgotten most of them by my birthday (which is January 28, for those of you planning any spectacular presents). I also, am not a fan of those large encompassing resolutions that really aren't resolutions with which to begin. "Be nice to everyone" Well, that's a bit Pollyanna, don't you agree? One should state that you "Will try to be nice to everyone," but in the end, when someone walks into work at 5 minutes till closing time and they choose to order a well done ribeye (coupled with a complaint that we've run out of macaroni and cheese) nice isn't exactly the word I'm visualizing. Rachel, whom I work with chose "become better physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally." Part of her physical plan is to start a weight loss group at work...i.e., we each chip in 5 dollars and whomever loses the most at the end of 3 months gets the pot. I haven't decided if I should be offended, because she asked me if I want to join. Weight loss seems to be on everyone's mind. Currently breastfeeding (about 75% of the time) I'm not trying to lose weight. I have plenty of time in my life to refuse the stuff that tastes good. I say this as my husband makes breakfast burritos, of course.

Still, I feel compelled to make some New Year's Resolutions. It is not possible to keep my house any cleaner, although there are some closets that could use a little organizing. Part of me wants to borrow Rachel's resolution, but I'll probably just back out...if I can't put the effort into coming up with the wording, what is the chance I'll actually stick with the resolution anyway. So, thinking long and hard about it, here are some New Year's Resolutions for 2010. As I have a tendency to lean towards the sarcastic, well, you'll get the idea.

1. Find and attend a church service. Options included are Branch Davidians', Heaven's Gate, and The People's Temple.

2. Make a concerted effort to be less productive.

3. Eat healthier (not less).

4. Walk twice a day.

5. Attempt to be less sarcastic with coworkers (they aren't getting it).

6. Enjoy my family more (it's like going to to zoo).

7. Go to bed at a decent hour.

8. Write/blog more. Did you know there are people who blog everyday? I'm going to shoot for twice a week. Let's say Sundays and Thursdays perhaps?

So, those are my resolutions, but I would love to know what you have in store for your 2010.

Merry Christmas

Ahh, Christmas Eve. For those of us who despise the winter months (even 65 degree winter months), Christmastime (including New Year's, and hell, I'll throw in Thanksgiving for posterity) is the beginning and the end of the season in less then 2 months. By the time, I toast my last yearly chime, I'm ready to throw the decorations into the trash and the patio furniture onto well...the patio. Don't get me wrong, I do love this season, obviously the birth of our Savior is beyond important. That coupled with gift giving, parties, food, carols, and etc., make it a fun time for all. But I'm definitely a Easter kind of gal, because once Easter comes, summer cannot be far behind. Thinking of Easter brings me to my "point" or "discussion" for tonight. The last time I set foot inside of a church was Easter 2009. It was at that point that my son became confirmed in the United Methodist Church. Alex stood in front of the congregation with 10 others and committed his life to walking in the light. Meanwhile, a few pews away, sat his mother, desperately worried God's light would shine on her either that day or someday in the future. You see, I haven't walked in the light in a long time. For those of you that don't know my faithwalk...it goes like this- I was baptized at Glade United Church of Christ in Walkersville, Maryland in August 1980. It was the church where my father's family attended and my parents were married. We were very faithful attendees while I was growing up. Sunday School, church choir, church dramas, youth group, etc. I was confirmed in 1996 after a two-year confirmation process. Once in college, like most youth, I questioned my faith and considered a conversion to Catholicism. I wanted something "cut and dry", i.e. do this/not this, worship here, say this, etc. I am not trying to belittle the Catholic faith in ANY WAY, but at the time, that is how I felt. Flash forward to August 2003, my husband Mitchell and I were set to be married at Glade in October, and I was called to serve as the Christian Education/Youth Director for Wellspring United Methodist Church in Williamsburg, Virginia. We loved everything about Wellspring. Our daughter, MacKenzie, was baptized there in February 2006. Their former Pastor, Tim Tate, is a man truly led by God. I was literally reborn at Wellspring...and then we moved to Germany.

I stopped attending church in Germany not because of the language barrier as one may think, but because attending in chapel with a host of other Christian denominations is difficult. The one service that remotely felt home was the Anglican chapel service. However, they offered no Sunday School and the services lasted over lunch. When we moved to Georgia in October 2008, I was terribly excited about returning to a "real church." I could not wait to return to the Book of Discipline. We attended for some time at Richmond Hill United Methodist Church in Richmond Hill, Georgia. However, it is my humble opinion that the "one time" of the year you should feel connected and excited about being a Christian is Easter Sunday. As I sat in that pew surrounded by my family, I did not feel connected, I felt lost. I drive past Richmond Hill four times a week. I know they are currently searching for a youth director, but I cannot, not now. Something or someone has changed. I'm not sure when or how it occurred but it did. I'm devastated, but unsure if I am supposed to do something. Part of me thinks this is part of the Great Plan, I'm being tested, but by not going to church I'm failing that test. I feel like a teenager who gets test anxiety. They study but when push comes to shove, it goes out the window and all they are left with is a blank "blue book." I can't go to church, yet I miss it terribly. I miss Bible study, I miss hymns, I miss the lectionary, and I miss mission work. Another part of me (the Calvinist part I can't seem to shake) tells me God knew this was going to happen, and that even though "this" is happening, it is meant to be. Can you honestly say someone "isn't" meant to go to church?

I've wrestled with the idea of attending church as part of my New Year's Resolution. We have Jack now, and I have no clue where or when to baptize him. We toyed with the idea of September at Wellspring (friends, family, godparents are there), but then some have told us that we need to wait until we find a home church. So again, I am not sure where to turn. In fact, I am so unsure about this whole situation, I do not even know how to end this blog. So I will close with two questions:

1. Are you having a Mary or Martha Christmas?

2. Which is more important Christmas or Easter?

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

The End of the World

I recently caught a trailer for the soon to be released 2012, another "edge of your seat" end of the world, catastrophe driven, mega-movie. Starring John Cusack, Amanda, Peet, Oliver Platt, Thandie Newtown, Danny Glover, and Woody Harrelson we have yet another film showcasing the end of the world. Aliens will not arrive from another galaxy to use what little is left of Earth's resources, zombies will not take over following a massive vaccination protocol, nor will a giant comet or asteroid hurl towards Earth with the force of a million Hiroshima bombs. No folks, in this movie, the world will battle the evil and catastrophic Mayan calendar. To make a long story short, the Mayan calendar ends on either December 21 or 23, 2012. Depending on who you believe the world will A) continue about in its' merry way, CO2 emissions and health care reform be damned, B) end in a worldwide apocalypse from which even Will Smith will not be able to save us (this includes theories of planetary collision, black hole existence, and polar reverse) or C) bring about an age of new consciousness (It truly is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius). It should be noted that most Mayan historians do not believe in the extinction of mankind based upon the calendar the Mayans created and that most of the hype and doomsday phenomena were created by numerous television series/documentaries based upon science fiction writings.

So, I thought it would be best to go back to the beginning to the named "Father of Science Fiction," H.G. Wells. Englishman Herbert George Wells was an English author best known for his works in the science fiction genre. He was a socialist, pacifist, and an ardent supporter of technocracy (an administration of scientists and engineers, in essence, a government run by experts in their perspective fields). Apparently Wells was quite the ladies man, first marrying his cousin in 1891, but leaving her for one of his students in 1894. He fathered four children, but only two with his wife, who remained married to him despite his liaisons until her death. I chose Wells for his most famous work entitled The War of the Worlds (WOTW). I came upon WOTW because I was scouring the shelves on our local library. They front portion of the library was filled with books that, at one time or another, were banned. WOTW was banned due to the amount of violence that it contained for the time. The narrator is unnamed and there is very little dialogue in the book. The story details an invasion of the Earth by martians and the very little, we, as humans are able to do to stop them once they arrive. The book ends as quickly as the invasion began with the martians succumbing to Earthly bacteria (perhaps H1N1?).

As a footnote, I began this post on October 25, a day before my husband left for two weeks to Fort Myers, Florida. It seemed that as soon as he returned, we left for a week in Williamsburg, Virginia for Thanksgiving. I tried, I honestly tried, to remember to return to the blog. However, still waking once a night with a 2.5 month old did not make the two weeks very pleasant. It is now December 8/9 and I finish this blog while The Colbert Report plays in the background. Therefore, I'll admit, it is not my best work. I promise and guarantee better prose the next time, when I will highlight a family favorite- The Brooklyn Brewery.

Disney Offerings

My family and I returned from a weekend trip to Walt Disney World. For those of you who know us, this is a fairly regular occurrence. We went as a family in March, just my husband and I in July, my husband and (step)son in September, and now all 5 of us (6 if you count Mamaw) for the Race for the Taste 10K. This time we chose to stay at the Boardwalk Inn due to its' proximity to Epcot, as we planned on spending the majority of our time enjoying the samplings at the annual International Food and Wine Festival. As Epcot was probably the most crowded I have EVER experienced, we did not get to enjoy many samplings in World Showcase. I think our time was limited to visiting France and the bathroom in Morocco. However, our trip was not a total bust as I did get to sample a few beverages throughout the weekend.

Friday evening we dined at one of WDW's signature restaurants, Yachtsman's Steakhouse, at the Yacht Club (another Epcot resort). I chose the recommended wine for my New York Strip Steak, a red, known as Cline Cellar's 2005 Cashmere GSM. I actually had no idea what to expect as I was unsure what type of red was even being offered. Upon further inspection I have learned that that a GSM blend is a mixture of Grenache (Spanish Red), Syrah (French Red), and Mourvedre (French Red). The grapes for this wine were harvested between August 29 and October 17. The Grenache and Mourvedre came from Cline vineyards in Oakley, with the Syrah coming from a vineyard in Sonoma Coast. The winemakers' notes state that this wine was initially created for an auction lot for the Hospice du Rhone held in Paso Robles annually. Hospice du Rhone is an tasting event designed to benefit Hospice du Rhone (the organization), a non profit group that works to improve business conditions of grape growers and wine producers around the world. You should taste cherry, raspberry, chocolate, black pepper, and plum. I certainly could taste the black pepper and cherry in this wine, but it had a particular "burn" sensation that I generally equate with my least favorite of wines, the merlot. Cline's 2008 Cashmere can be purchased online for $21.00 per bottle, and aside from a slightly later harvested date, there does not seem to be too much of a difference. I was unable to find the 2005 version for sale. A portion of the sale of each bottle benefits The Breast Cancer Network.

Saturday evening we dined at Chefs de France in Epcot's World Showcase. For this evening's meal, I chose a meal consisting primarily of duck. The recommended wine is a Pinor Noir from Burgundy, France- 2007 Bourgogne Rouge from a winery known as Signe. Unfortunately, I was unable to find information on the named winery. As pinot noirs are my most favorite of red wine selections, I was pleased to see this option on the list. Pinot noir grapes are of the most difficult to cultivate, as they require a specific type of soil to sprout and their thin skins can easily rot and succumb to fungi. Sadly, this means, that many restaurants fail to carry these wines as they can be expensive, or they opt for the "cheapest" version which may result tasting more like...well, something gross. Master sommelier Madeline Triffon says that pinot noir is "like sex in a glass." You can meet Mr. Pinot Noir at the second level of the Eiffel Tower (the top of the tower is too scary, too crowded, and too expensive). He isn't flashy, but you know that it is him when you catch his glance out of the corner of your eye. You have met a thrilling hedonist... rich, inviting, dare I say it...seductive. Enjoy your time spent with him, it may be a long time until you meet up again.

Cline Cellars Website

www.clinecellars.com

The First Time

I can recall the "first time" I had real alcohol. I was a Freshman in college and had spent the night visiting a friend at another nearby university. Upon leaving to return to my dorm, my friend gave me a bookbag full of alcohol. I remember the bag contained both Peppermint Schnapps and Absolut Kurant. Upon returning to my dorm room, my roommate and I, plus some friends from the 9th floor decided to enjoy it that night. First, let's get one thing straight, college Fresh(wo)men do not enjoy alcohol like my husband enjoys a good cigar. A bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue would be wasted in college. We really don't like the taste and those people who say they do (and they are out there) really don't enjoy it, but when you go to THE George Washington University you learn quickly that everyone is out to do one of two things, either A) impress with knowledge or B) impress with money. I'll let you figure out what was more popular at GW. Yes, 6 alumni currently serve in the U.S. Senate and 10 in the House of Representatives, but we also lay claim to Courtney Cox Arquette, Rachel Zoe, and yes, L. Ron Hubbard, Colonials, you should be so proud.

So, there we sat on the purple carpet purchased when we moved in to Room 219 of Thurston Hall. Actually it was just myself and a friend from the aforementioned 9th floor, the two of us proceeding to share (and finish) a liter bottle of Absolut Kurant. Well, to that point, my drinking consisted of the foam of my father's Miller High Life (probably once when I was 12 or 13) and two sips of a poorly made Screwdriver at a party in high school. You are talking to a girl who once got excited that she got to wash her hands with beer at a crab feast. Needless to say, I passed out (blacked out) on my bed, waking up to a whirring fan and smell of vomit (not mine) at around 6:30 a.m. in the morning. I think I spent the day shopping at the Pentagon City Mall, I remember having to buy sunglasses (hmm, wonder why?).

So, this is unfortunate because now as an adult, when I can drink responsibly, I am virtually unable to stomach the smell (must less the taste) of almost all "hard liquor" beverages. As vodka is the 3rd most popular alcoholic ingredient, I have eliminated popular drinks like Long Island Iced Teas and Black Russians, as well as something called the Black Death. Sounds tasty, no?

Absolut Vodka arrived in the U.S. in 1979, the product of Lars Olsson Smith, an orphan who had introduced his vodka masterpiece over 100 years earlier. According to the company's website every bottle of Absolut is made in the town of Ahus, in Southern Sweden. This "one source" process ensure that the water and winter wheat provides the same taste and texture each and every time. Absolut Kurant premeired in 1992 as a tribute to the company's Swedish origins. Apparently the Scandinavian cold is the perfect breeding ground for the vinbar (insert those funny little dots above the a) otherwise known in English as the black currant berry. Apparently these berries can even grow above the arctic circle. In making Absolut Kurant, the distilling process of the liquid is the same just with the addition of the "all natural" berries. Absolut now has 12 different varieties of vodka including- "plain", Ruby Red (grapefruit), 100 (more intense "plain" flavor), Raspberri, Vanilia, Citron (lemon), Mandrin (orange), Pears, Peppar, Mango, and Apeach. However, with the U.S. consuming approximately 60% of the worlds vodka, it looks like the third largest premium spirit brand is definitely here to stay...just not in my cabinet.

Absolut Nordic

1 part Absolut Kurant

bitter lemon

Fill a highball glass to the brim with ice cubes. Pour ingredients over ice and garnish with lime.